Its New Year and motivation is high, fuelled by some down time and far too much cheese. We know we need to change something and are keen to get going.
In those first few weeks it can feel easy to skip past the confectionary aisle in the supermarket, you don’t even want to look at any more chocolate! Getting to the gym is exciting, different. You want to shift that holiday weight and getting back to a routine. And you have the energy, after a week off work, to get out in the evening or up early in the morning to go for a run.
But what happens three weeks in? How do you keep going when that initial enthusiasm starts to drift?
Getting to Know Your Why
With any goal understanding why you really want to make the change is crucial.
Self-regulation takes a lot of energy; most of us can only maintain that motivation for a limited time before our attention drifts. You need to tap into other mechanisms to keep up the new habit or behaviour change.
A good start is to be really clear about WHY you want the new behaviour. What are your deeper motivations?
Goals like ‘get fitter’ or ‘drink less’ are more likely to succeed if you know what the fitter, sober you is going to be achieving. For me, I wanted to be fitter and more mobile so that I would still be able to get on the floor and play with grandchildren when (hopefully) they came along, which is a long-term vision of my future self. This is so helpful when I go through spells where I can’t exercise or lose motivation for a while, because I know and trust myself that I will get back to my positive habits.
Spend some time digging down into the future you want for yourself, who you want to be, and what you need to make that happen. Envision it, write it down, use a vision board, journal, tell people. Make that future self your ultimate goal.
But First… Make Sure You Really Want It
Often, we embark on goals because we think we should; we ought to push up that career ladder, we should want to start a family. Those are great goals, but make sure it is what you truly want.
When we strive for goals that aren’t ours, that are more about what our family would like or what our culture expects, then even if we are tenacious enough to reach them, they can feel like a hollow victory.
Check if There Are Other Blocks Holding You Back
Change can be scary, no two ways about it. We will put up with some awful situations or self-sabotage until the cows come home rather than embrace change.
Be fully honest with yourself: what might be holding you back? This is where a coach is helpful because we are very good at not seeing the obvious in ourselves.
Sometimes when we realize the problem, the next step is easy. Other times we need support and encouragement to take the plunge.
Take Small Positive Steps
Break bigger goals into smaller targets where you can see regular progress. This boosts your confidence and lets you build on your success—like couch to 5k—where you push yourself that little bit further each week.
Remember, goals are easier if they are the type you move towards rather than away from. These ‘approach’ goals are about starting something new rather than stopping something you don’t want anymore, because forming new positive habits is much more sustainable than quitting old ones.
Check If There Are Other Blocks Holding You Back
Change can be scary, no two ways about it. We will put up with some awful situations or self-sabotage until the cows come home rather than embrace change.
Be fully honest with yourself, what might be holding you back? This is where a coach is helpful because we are very good at not seeing the obvious in ourselves.
Sometimes when we realize the problem, the next step is easy. Other times we need support and encouragement to take the plunge.
Take Small Positive Steps
Break bigger goals into smaller targets where you can see regular progress. This boosts your confidence, lets you build on your success – like couch to 5k – where you push yourself that little bit further each week.
Remember, goals are easier if they are the type you move towards rather than away from. These ‘approach’ goals are about starting something new rather than stopping something you don’t want anymore, because forming new positive habits is much more sustainable than quitting an old one.
Navigating Those Stumbling Blocks
Research has shown that people who write down their goals are 42% more likely to achieve them. Whilst, on average, only 3% of people who set themselves goals write them down. It’s a no brainer – writing down your goals will help you.
And make those plans detailed – the small steps, the daily actions, the progress you want.
This will help you be clear about what you want and why you want it and, if you find it hard to write a goal down it’s a good indicator there is some block to you wanting to make the change.
This step is also an opportunity to plan for potential stumbling blocks. Where can you see yourself hitting a bump in the road? What are your susceptible moments or triggers for an old habit? What are you going to do when that happens, how will you deal with it?
Lastly, share your goal and intentions with a (good) friend (s) a support group or a coach. This accountability can be what keeps you going in those tough moments.
Tap Into The Science of Habit Building
Habits are behaviours we learn in response to particular cues. We often think of them in the negative – ‘bad’ habits – but they are simply shortcuts our brain takes to repeat something on automatic pilot so we don’t have to give it too much attention. We can use this system to our benefit.
We need to find the new habit rewarding, so it takes some detective work to identify something that is a meaningful and satisfying reward for us as individuals. Keep a record of when you get cravings for cake, a cigarette, etc., and consider what triggered it. Was it boredom, certain times of day, being with certain people, or particular places?
Once you find the trigger, notice how you were feeling at that moment or just before. Were you tired, bored, anxious? This is the feeling you want to try to satisfy or placate. How can you do that in a different, more positive way? And what reward will you give yourself when you do?
If you like numbers and tracking progress, it could be that, maybe the coffee on the way home from the gym, or the money in the savings account towards a holiday for each packet of cigarettes you don’t buy. It needs to be personal to you.
Celebrate
Finally, remember to acknowledge and reward yourself for your achievements, don’t diminish or play your success down. Each stage adds to your confidence, inspires you to make bigger strides and to keep going.
Statistics - 15+ Essential Goal-Setting Statistics [2023]: The Importance of Setting Goals - Zippia, Jack Flynn
